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Very cold. Wind has dropped and iceberg now stationary in pack. No h ope now
of breaking out to open sea. I knew it was time for the last desper
ate effort I had been planning. Gerda apparently had the same thought. She
came to my tent next morning. As she sat there in the dim light I was surpr
ised to see how much weight she had lost. She was almost slim. Howe was wit h
her, thin as a wraith under the bulk of his clothes, his ugliness lost in the
aesthetic sunken appearance of his features. He reminded me somehow of a
modern artist's impression of Christ on the cross.
'Duncan. It is time we do something,' Gerda said. 'We cannot just stay here,
waiting for death.'
I nodded. 'I've been thinking the same thing,' I said.
'Anything is better than to die without effort. I think soon I go to join my
father.' She paused and then said, 'It is quiet now. We can go down on to the
ice. The Southern Cross was per'aps fifteen, not more than twenty miles from
us when she sink. Per'aps my father is alive. I do not know. But I must go a
nd see.'
'You realize we've drifted nearly 250 miles from the place where the South ern
Cross went down?'
'Ja, ja. But they also will have drifted. I think perhaps we do not find them.
B
ut I must try.'
'Don't forget we've been on this iceberg,' I said. 'We've been moving steadi
ly through the pack for days. Suppose there are some survivors, they'll be a
lot more than twenty miles away. You'd never make it. You're too weak.'
She shrugged her shoulders. 'I also think they will be a long way away. Also,
we cannot be sure in what direction they now are. But I must go. Per'aps I am
too weak, as you say. But it is the spirit that is important. My spirit is str
ong. I shall go to search for my father.'
There was no point in arguing. I could see she had made up her mind. 'And
Howe?' I asked.
Her face betrayed no emotion. She knew it meant his death. He would die fir st
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and she would have to watch him die. But she never flinched. She just sa id,
'Walter comes with me.'
I could see they had been over this together. Their minds were made up. In t
heir faces was a sort of glow of exaltation. I almost loved Howe's ugliness
in that moment, for he wasn't ugly - he was beautiful. His spirit, purged of
all bitterness and cynicism by Gerda's love, shone through his features and
transformed them.
I lay back, not saying anything, but going over in my mind something that ha d
been there for a long time. At length I sat up. I was looking at Howe, won
dering how he'd take it, hating myself for having to do it. 'Walter,' I said
, using his Christian name for the first time. 'You're not strong-physically
. Whatever your strength of will, you know you will die before you reach the
position where the Southern Cross survivors might be. You know that, don't
you?'
His eyes clouded. The glow died out of him. He knew the drift of my words. H
e nodded slowly, and there was a queer resignation in his face. It was as th
ough I'd killed his spirit. 'You think I should say good-bye to Gerda here?'
'Are you prepared to if it would give her a chance of reaching her father -
and give us all just a chance of preserving life a little longer?'
'Yes,' he said, his voice scarcely audible.
I got up then and crawled out of the tent, Gerda clutching frantically at me,
pleading to know what I intended to do. I think she was a little scared at t
he thought of making the journey without Howe. He was now the source of her s
trength. I said, 'Wait,' and called the men together, those that could still
crawl out of the tents. The air was cold and still as they assembled round me
.
'You know there is food for only a few days more?' I said.
They nodded.
'I checked the stores this morning,' I went on. 'On your present rations ther
e is food for seventeen more days. That is all. After that there is nothing.
We have seen no sign of any living thing in all this time. Unless we get food
and fuel we shall die.' They stood there, dumb - stunned by having what they
all knew put bluntly to them in words.
'Gerda Petersen wishes to try and reach the position of the Southern Cross,'
I went on. 'She wishes to know whether her father is alive. She has the rig ht
to go, if anyone does.' They growled agreement, waiting for me to continu
e.
I then told them what I planned to do. The Southern Cross unloaded stores on
the ice before she went down,' I said. 'She had a big cargo of whale-meat.
This and blubber would have been transferred to the ice. If there are any su
rvivors, then they will have meat and fuel. I intend to try and reach them.
It is a desperate chance, and you must decide whether you agree to my going.
We have no hope of reaching them in our present condition. The party, which
should consist of three, must be properly fed for at least two days. That a nd
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the rations they will have to take with them will cut your own food suppl ies
by about three days. It is up to you to decide whether you wish to take this
chance.'
The men nodded and began to talk amongst themselves. Gerda stepped forwar d
and said, 'Whatever you decide I must go. I do not need your food.'
The men stared at her. Then one old man from her father's ship said, 'We will
not let you go without food. Hval 4 will give you part of their rations.'
The men of her own crew nodded agreement, their eyes kindled - not by hope,
but by their sacrifice for something they thought right and good.
McPhee stepped forward and said, 'Will ye tell us, sir who ye'll be taking wi
th ye?'
'Yes,' I said. 'Kalstad, if he agrees to come.' And then I added, 'Before you
decide, let me warn you that there is little hope in this and we shall almost
certainly die on the way. But it is a chance, and we should take that chance,
however slight, before we are too weak to attempt it.'
'I will kom,' said Kalstad.
'Good,' I said, and asked the men for their decision. They didn't say anythi
ng, but I saw one of the stewards had gone to prepare a meal. They were all
grinning excitedly like children. They made of their sacrifice a sort of fes
tival. They crowded round the cook-pot, advising, offering more food. Gerda
was crying, her eyes starry, and she went amongst them, thanking them, kissi
ng them in her excitement and her sense of their innate kindness. She though t
that they were doing it for her, and not for any desperate hope of relief
- and I'm not at all sure she wasn't right. Rough men have a way of showing
their love with inordinate sacrifice, and there wasn't a man who hadn't gain
ed strength and courage from her indomitable cheerfulness.
So it was arranged and for two days the three of us fed like fighting cocks.
I could literally feel the strength flowing back into me. It coursed with t he
blood through my veins. Depression was thrown off. I even had some hope. [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]