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him, so drunk on the wildness that was us that I couldn't imagine for a moment
that I might have lived a lifetime without that power surging, riding, taking
me to heaven with the sweetness of thrust and cock and give and take and come&
Later, I lay on top of him and moved up and down with his breathing, and
touched him, randomly, with tenderness, skimming my fingers down his
triangular jaw and around his pointed ears, and on the ripples of the trim and
narrow muscles of his chest. He was built like a sidhe, taller and more
angular and more fluid than most humans, but Bracken was broader in the chest
and had more mass in the arms and thighs than Green. His father was a true
red-cap short, squat, and built like a forgotten corner of a rock quarry,
spider webs, spare earth, scratchy skin and all. That's how Bracken came to
smell like warmed rock, and feel like smooth stone beneath my fingers.
"So you've been getting laid for fifty years, huh?" I asked, smiling down into
his eyes.
"Give or take a few, he murmured. He liked to play with my hair, and for the
hundredth time I blessed that I hadn't cut it when I was in temper with him. I
would have to remember that, in the future. He looked so arrogant, so
cock-sure, now, that I didn't need to know he was supernaturally beautiful to
know women had been falling into his bed like apples from a tree.
"You're being modest," I laughed. "You've probably had T&A beyond the dreams
of mortal men.
"T D and A, if you must know." He smiled. "And since I'm not mortal, I'd say
that's a fair assumption.
I was a little slow on the uptake, but when I figured out what the D stood for
I flushed red and laughed into his chest.
"Does it bother you? he asked, knotting his fingers in the hair at my neck.
I buried my face in his neck and flushed some more. "I don't know,
Bracken you've seen the highlights of my sexual history sculpted in living
wood which I still don't remember making, by the way. Do you think it bothers
me?
"That's what bothers you, he said wisely. Had we both said that he wasn't
bright? What were we thinking? "And even though you don't remember making the
grove that night, the three of you spent weeks running off together to make
love, and I know you live those memories every time you think of Adrian.
I blinked and flushed. How had Bracken felt, then, as Adrian and Green and I
had honeymooned? Had he wished he'd been there with us? Would it have hurt him
too much? Or had his desire for me, his love for Adrian, been as poignant and
as painful as it was now that Adrian was gone. "I'll never regret what the
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three of us did together," I told him sincerely, knowing that some pain could
never be taken away. "But& " I looked away, because that didn't change the
truth. "It would have been nice, I guess, to save a few secrets for you.
His expression was wry, and accepting, and all of the things I hadn't felt
when he'd yelled at me earlier. "Well," he began, "Like you said, I love all
of you. You jump in with both feet, right? You weren't planning on losing
anyone the night you made the Goddess grove, am I right, little Goddess?" I
looked up because Andres called me that, and Bracken never had.
"I don't imagine so, I murmured, sarcastically. Goddess, I wanted that memory
back. I remembered the grove. I remembered the three of us together on other
nights, lovely, powerful moments of bodies coupling and tripling and the two
men I'd loved best warm and cool and hard and wanting against me and inside of
me and the warmth of them, splashing on my skin and running down my thighs and
my chin. But I didn't remember that first night. I didn't remember the
combination of love and sex and power that had created those memories etched
in wood, and had begun the odyssey of perfection that had been the three of
us. We had been so sure nothing could take that away from us.
But now Bracken couldn't meet my eyes. "You just keep on thinking like that,
baby. Don't plan on losing me. Don't hold anything back from me. Don't save
any part of yourself for the next lover." And now he looked at me again, and
his eyes were fierce and as burning as pond shadow could be. "Because there
will be no next lover without me, he said grimly. "I will live Goddess, I
will live, but I will have as much of you in my bed and in my heart as you can
give.
"You have a part of me that I never knew existed," I told him truthfully,
shaking off the anger of not remembering, of having been violated and stolen
from. I was in Bracken's arms right now, this moment. I would have this
moment, and I wouldn't let memories or lack of them steal it from me. "And no
one else has ever had that part of me, and if you leave me, that piece will
die and no one else will ever know that it was there.
"So we love bravely, right?
I laughed, warm, kind, and very in love with the dark haired, short tempered
sidhe filling my arms. "Yeah. Love bravely& " I trailed off, and a random
question, intimate and curious, struck me. One I had not felt comfortable
asking either of my other lovers, perhaps because they had been making love to
each other as often as to me. "How different are we?" I asked, "Men and
women?
"Well& " he thought, not surprised by the question in the least. "Men are
thrusting, aggressive even making love together, they're both shoving their
parts into something& " My mouth quirked and he kissed it and then kept
talking. "Women are& well men try to shape things, shape love making by
thrusting into it, women try to shape things by accepting them, and then
changing their shape with their acceptance you're a woman, you know what you
do, physically, in a man's bed that's a power in itself, but it's a different
nature, right?
"I should hope so, I said dryly, wiggling my body over his and making him
laugh. For a moment, I was captured by his laughter, and my hands moved up to
touch his dimple, trace his jaw line, and then, best of all, play with the
sensitive curve of his pointy elfish ears. But something was busy in my brain,
striking me from nowhere. "Goshawk doesn't fight like a man, I said after a
moment.
Bracken frowned. "I'm sorry?
"Goshawk he doesn't do anything bravely he thrusts, but in secret. He asserts
himself upon the world, but he does it slyly, without face, or, well, honor.
He steals women's memories after he's stolen their trust. He sends his men
into the field when he won't go himself. I mean& when we finally met face to
face it was because he attacked me while I slept." I shook my head, trying to
figure out where I was going.
"He's a coward.
"Yes," I agreed. "But there's more he's attacking women, making hidden
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alliances& " I chewed my lower lip there was more, there, but I couldn't wrap
my brain around it. "What do you think he would do if we just invited him over
and confronted him?
"Run like hell, Bracken said on a snort of disdain.
"But he can't anymore, can he?" I asked. "He's lost too many people. He's
pushed too many people to do things they didn't want to. He can't run. He'd
have to face us& but he'd want to do it when he thought he had the advantage.
"So& " Bracken reasoned, "We'd want to meet him when he thinks he's going to
win& 
"But we need to surprise him with something and not give him a road out, I
murmured, losing myself in the idea until Bracken grasped my chin and forced
me to meet his eyes.
"Later, he said implacably. "Later. Sleep. Eat." A quick grin then. "Make
love to me. But heal. We'll face him. We'll win. But I want you to be strong
and healthy, and able to cut that goat-fucker off at the knees. [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]